Eat a Day’s Worth of Greens in 14 Minutes!

Scientists are so annoying.

“Eat more leafy greens and you may slow how your brain ages,” they pester.

“Leafy greens contain high amounts of the nutrients you need to fight depression,” they badger.

“You should try to eat more leafy greens, man, because they’re really, really good for your eyes,” they hound.

Leafy greens may aid weight loss, lower your blood pressure, prevent cancer, help elderly women cross the street, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.I get it, scientists. But there’s only so much salad a person can consume. There’s nothing crave-worthy about raw spinach. Uncooked Swiss chard is colorful, yes, but is about as appealing to eat as a houseplant. And don’t try to tell me that green smoothies are amazing. 

Anyone who says they love drinking green smoothies is either an alien (ever wonder why they’re green?) or, worse yet, a paid influencer for The American Green Smoothie Board or, even worse yet, both.

Excerpted from Men’s Health

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