Resilient People!

Ever meet someone who could bounce back even from the worse defeat and wonder what made them so resilient?

According to an article in Business Insider, Stanford University psychology professor, Sandra Dweck, has an answer to this question – and it focuses on what she calls “mindsets”. She has found that there are two kinds of mindsets: Fixed and Growth.

A person with a fixed mindset believes that ability is innate – either you’re talented or you’re not. People with this mindset see themselves as naturally talented and believe that they should not have to work hard to succeed. When they step up to the plate, they’re sure they’ll smack that fastball out of the park.

In contrast, people with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be cultivated. While they know that people are born with certain talents, they believe that everyone can improve with effort. When that fastball whizzes past them, they figure out how to improve their hitting technique.

Dweck has found that people who have a growth mindset are more resilient than are those who have a fixed mindset.

People with a fixed mindset cannot understand why they missed that fastball and, consequently, they do not make the effort to improve their swing. When they keep striking out, they crumble.

When people with the growth mindset miss that fastball, they adjust their swing and get ready for the next pitch. They keep adjusting and swinging until they smack that home run.

People with fixed mindsets see setbacks as failures and, over time, lose their confidence, perform poorly, and do not find joy in the activities that once made them happy. They are afraid to fail. But for people with a growth mindset, setbacks are opportunities to find a new solution to a problem and are welcomed. They see failure as a normal part of a learning process and keep moving forward.

Dweck has found that the type of reinforcement that you offer to your children can strongly impact which mindset they develop. When parents praise their children for their talents, the children gravitate toward a fixed mindset. In contrast, when parents praise their children for their effort or strategy in tackling a problem, the children move toward the growth mindset.

Bottom line – to develop resilient children, praise their effort and their problem solving skills.